Well, since I'm in the last month of my pregnancy I have to/get to go to the doctor every week. This is both exciting and a bit exhausting. Yesterday was my second "dive in" appointment and it wasn't as great of an experience as the first one. However, I did find out that I am now more than 50% effaced and 1 centimeter dilated, so that's the good news. At least I am progressing from week to week.
When you go to these appointments, the first thing the doctors always ask you is if you have any questions. My questions ALWAYS are: When is she going to be born? and How big is she going to be? Both of which they can never answer. This time, when I asked when she was going to be born, Dr. Gorman said to expect her after my due date. That way if she comes before the 25th I can say he was wrong. That was the first bummer. The second bummer: after he had done the examination and I was going to get my blood work done for my thyroid, I realized I was bleeding, so I had to go get rechecked again only to find out he had broken some blood vessels during the examination. This was an extreme relief in more ways than one. First, a relief because there wasn't anything wrong with either of us. Second, a relief because I wasn't going in to labor. However, as I was sitting there waiting for Dr. Gorman to come back to do another exam, it hit me......OH NO, What if I'm in labor? What are we going to do? We're not ready for her to come yet? How is she going to come home, we don't even have her car seat in the car yet? A full on panic attack had set in and I was almost in tears when I remembered that being a mother is the only thing I ever wanted to be in my life, so I know I can do this. I may not have all the answers right now, but with the guidance of all the great moms that I have in my life I will be able to get through anything. Every day when someone asks (and someone asks EVERY day) "How are you feeling?", I always say, "Good, but I'm ready to not be pregnant any more." This is the honest truth, but the realization of having and being responsible for a child of my own has not been more vivid than when I was sitting on that exam table waiting on the doctor.
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You are going to be a great Mom! Once she's here everything just seems to happen naturally. Your Mother instincts just seem to kick in. True, you may not have all the answers but you will figure it out. Enjoy her while she's small. Once they start school it's never the same. Make Memories!
ReplyDeleteLove ya, Sharon
I loved the narrative Blake. We are coming in town Thursday and will leave again on Sunday, maybe we can see you while we are there. We are staying at the Embassy Suites in Rogers.
ReplyDeleteAs for being ready, you will never be ready. Having children is an ever changing thing. The only thing constant with them is "change". Like my mom said, it seems to come natural once you get that little bundle of joy into your arms. Let me remind you though, it may not seem like a bundle of joy when they are not sleeping but it will be rewarding, I promise.
Thanks for keeping us informed. Give us an update on how you are doing. We are praying for a quick and easy delivery for you.
Love ya,
T
And you are going to be a great mommy! We can't wait for her to be here. I will try to stop asking how you feel everyday.
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